Ode to Dunkin Donuts. v. 2

A dozen rounds covered
instead of gunpowder,
it is the white powder
of sweet delight.

I await her hand to 
turn the handle on the steam
and let the coffee
drip, drip, drip.

I smelled that coffee 
as I entered the plastic pink
and orange handled doors.
It was all America,
except now you could get
avocado from Mexico on your eggs and
toast.

That is fine with me.
I am from Cuba and we call
them rosquillas,
but our daughters call them
donuts.
They don't know.

That's all right.
I want them to fit in with
America, so they can get
good jobs. 

Sugar and milk,
eggs and flour,
it's all so good
but I would rather have
ham and eggs
with toast and guava.
A dozen rounds covered 
with powdered sugar
instead of bitter gunpowder.
They are a sweet delight.

I await his hand
to turn the handle of steel
and let the liquid
pour.

The smell of the coffee
fills the shiny room
plastic orange and pink
handled doors.
It is all American
joy and optimism.

You can even get 
avocado and sesame seeds
on toast.

That is fine with me.

In my mother's country
they are rosquillas,
but I call them donuts
and it's all right.

Sugar and milk,
eggs and flour,
chocolate and even
guayaba. 

I wanted to clarify who was the speaker in the poem. In the first version, I had just thought about it being a person who is a little resentful of being in Dunkin Donuts. In the first revision, the speaker is not resentful, but awed by the place and its cutesy appeal. In the first draft, the speaker is not happy with what she gets and would rather have had ham and eggs, but in the first revision, she is content because they even have guayaba. I changed the word guava to guayaba because that is the Spanish word and it just seemed right. I took out the part about jobs because the ode is not to the economic system, but to a doughnut shop. Also, I didn’t like the way that the lines made the speaker sound.

Think of one of your daily or regular spots to visit and make it unique and special by writing a poem about it. It’s fun.

Happy writing!

2 thoughts on “Ode to Dunkin Donuts. v. 2

  1. I love how you took us through your revision. Every change you made was intentional with a specific purpose. I see the benefit of sharing this with writing students, so they can see into a writer’s head on what is needed to revise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Nancy. I heard once that you should burn your first drafts. I save my charcoal for grilling hamburgers, though. 😉

      Like

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