We decided yesterday that we have been mortifying ourselves to the extreme. We needed a break from the austerity of it all. My husband received an email that struck a chord, a delightful G Major chord.
The email said that we could get free donuts at Dunkin. Well, we went and they had some doughnuts. They never have the kinds we like, the counter person doesn’t speak our language and the place is dirty. The only way that you get the free doughnuts is by buying a beverage per doughnut. All that sugar goes to our heads and we walk around with our heads in the clouds. Why do we do it? It’s “Wednes-yay” so we have to.
We go there together. Before the pandemic, my husband and I would go there and plot artistic manifestations and projects. We would have our favorite doughnuts. They always had the ones that we liked back then. They had blueberry cake and double chocolate. We would go there and enjoy a beautiful time together. We would write love notes to each other on their napkins. We still do, but there are never enough napkins.
My illness started kicking up last night, I started to feel the anxiety and I found myself talking too much. I really started to feel overwhelmed. I took out Fred Frese’s handout and sought help. I picked out the signs that were bothering me from his list. Yes, other people have felt this way before and probably do now. That was kind of reassuring even though it meant that others were suffering. Well, the handout is there for us. I went and looked over the list of things that I found had helped me in the past, did those things and felt better.
The main part was feeling overwhelmed. I listed the facts that were on my mind in my journal without considering if they were petty or not. In other words, I did not judge those facts. The facts that I thought were unchangeable had solutions. I did two things that could change my situation immediately and came up with other solutions for the rest. Most were things that I could do myself. Two were things that I needed help with, but I knew who could help. After doing this, I felt better and less overwhelmed. The anxiety eased. I laughed a little at all this over thinking and headwork.
All of this is because of the years that I have spent with so many great people in the recovery movement. I would have died long ago if all of these cool people had not taught me how to take care of myself. They all did it because they believed that people deserve to live better lives than they are living and can recover with a little help and a lot of love. Recovery is not just for drugs and alcohol. There are many things that people need to recover from. I like it because it turns out that whatever you are hurting from makes you stronger and more compassionate so that when you recover you are better than you were before.
Facts – face all conflicts to solve. No matter how weird or out there it seems, it can be solved. Be good and true to yourself. It will get better.
Thank you for reading this post.