Alter Ego

I stare at you and see only myself.

You wear the masks of fear and regret

Which I can only expect

To outlast the good memories

Unless I write those smiling moments down.

You have stolen my youth,

My friends, my sanity, my careers, my perspective,

And now you want to take my face.

So I will wear the face of a clown?

You are disability.

“Dis-” : Latin prefix which means an opposing force.

We all know what ability means because all our superheroes

Have at least one.

Opposite of ability is disability.

“Dis-:” slang for disrespecting a person who is worthy.

My ability is worthy of me.

I am worthy of her.

In a way I have won.

Like you, disability, I used to steal

Because I thought I could not buy or earn.

So disability, you are the thief.

So the fear and regrets should be yours.

I will look past you, disability,

And see ability.

As you fade, I will regain all that I thought that

I had lost

In the frost of your lies.

I will be able to carry thoughts and reality

With ability.

7 thoughts on “Alter Ego

  1. Kristi Lonheim March 9, 2021 — 8:47 am

    I hope fear and regret don’t outlast the good memories, for anyone.


  2. These lines –>
    “I will look past you, disability,
    And see ability”
    became the center for me, reading.


  3. Wow, Helen, you nail this. You are so on point woman!

    Thank you. I like reading this so early. Makes me realize that the TBI which was supposed to dis-able me, has actually helped to make me SMARTER!


    It has allowed my brain to begin using more of it’s once hidden ABILITY.🙂🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DISability: to not be able. I am not able to write poetry. I envy you for your great ability to do so.


  5. I like the intro because of the dialogue between first and second person who are one and the same starts immediately. Your piece reminded me of fear: false evidence about reality.


  6. Wow, this is deep and beautiful. I love so many parts of this poem but “the frost of your lies” really sticks with me.


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