Everything is temporary- Edie Brickell
I was wondering why nothing lasts forever. How boring it would be if nothing ever changed, but it would be reassuring. Somethings shouldn’t ever change. There might be a great love in a person’s life that should never change in spirit.
I gave up trying to be friends with someone yesterday. I cried. I was so sad because I was mourning our relationship. It was entirely one sided. This person saw me as a client, a project. She never saw me as a friend. She said that she did, but there was always an authority trip on her part. She needed to tell me what to do.
Now, I suppose that I could state my case and try to get her to see things from my point of view. That would be a more caring and mature way of handling things than just giving her up. That way our relationship might blossom into something more. It’s just that arguments about the word are not something that I do. I was warned in confession by a priest to never argue about the Word or its interpretation. So, I am trapped between love for my friend and aide and obedience to my confessor.
In the midst of this, she goes to work every day where the protests are taking place. I worry about her safety.
I need to completely writing assignments, but am so distracted by her opinions. The meaning of writing for me is not just about gut dumping on a page, although that’s part of it. Writing serves to unite people and to heal wounds. I am going to write her a nice letter explaining my position and because she is an aide, I will write it as if she will have to show it.
Once again, writing saves me from a difficult decision by clarifying the problem and identifying a new solution.